Sunday, May 18, 2014

How to handle being called "Nigger" in 2014

So I this guy named Nick S. (Yes, that's a direct link to his facebook... feel free to say hello. UPDATE: It's "off the grid now for obvious reasons") called me a "Nigger" yesterday...

Yep, it's 2014 and that's still happening... Don't act shocked, appalled, or flabbergasted... In the words of Olivia Pope:

Clearly I know I'm not a "Nigger" so I just laughed it off because I was not about to stoop to that level of violence, and furthermore, disrespect myself or my buddy's house.

I remember a time when that word would set me off, and I'd be the first to jump in someones face... but come on dude...I think it's time for a new word. I'm 33 years old and I don't subscribe to this kind of nonsense. But don't think for one second that you're getting away with it, as you have no idea the kind of person I am. I may not put hands on you, but there's an old saying, "The pen is mightier than the sword". So I decided the best course of action is to use social networking as my weapon of choice.

Here's how it went down:

I met this dude like 3 weeks ago, and he was drunk then and rubbed me the wrong way so I just ignored him and went on about my way.

Fast Forward to yesterday:

Myself, along with one of my best friends, and his girlfriend arrive to our other best friend's house in Redondo Beach, for a barbecue. It was supposed to start at 12 noon, but we got there around 3 because we knew better... Shit wasn't gonna be

 Anyway, we get there and they had already been drinking. There were some new faces there, but this other face... the face of a drunkard, whom I had already met before was in some way, looking for trouble. I shake the other people's hands, and I even shake his and told him that we have met before...

Nick was already having a hard time forming complete sentences... And it was actually kind of sad. 26 years old and still yet to have control with your alcohol. It's kind of embarrassing if you ask me...

I can't even begin to recall some of the things he was saying to me because none of it was making an ounce of sense. You know how drunk people get... so I just gave him a weird look and asked him to stop talking to me so I can enjoy my plate...

So eventually, my buddy's girlfriend comes outside and she's wearing something that shows that it's kind of chilly outside if you know what I mean. Nick decides he wants to comment and say, "Nipples".

I look at him and say "Don't be disrespectful." He looks at me very hard like he wants to do something and I say, "You're looking at me like you want to do something. If you feel the need, you are more than welcome."

Let the stare down begin...

larry stare

Nick replies, "I'm thinking"

I reply, "Think long and hard about your next move..."

This is one of the main reasons why I don't drink excessively in public because you really look like an idiot if you can't keep it under control.

The starring continues. By this time, I can feel that feeling you get when you know it's possibly gonna go down. You know that anxious feeling you get just before you go over the edge of a roller coaster?... Yes, it was starting even though I sat there calm, I could still feel it building....

So my buddy's girlfriend comes back outside and says that they need me in the kitchen. I get up and go. Thank you Jesus! Saved once again! I've really been working on my issues with quickly reacting by going from 0-10 and it's definitely paying off. I get to the kitchen an my friend asked me what happened outside and I told him what he said about his girlfriend and that pissed him off. He motioned to go outside, but I stopped him and told him that I had already taken care of it... No need to escalate the situation. Ok cool..

Fast forward to everyone moving inside:

We're about to bust out some Wii bowling (You know how I love me some Wii bowling) but Nick continues to kill the vibe.

I was talking to one of my friends and said something funny, and Nick decides he wants to mumble under his breath, "Nigga say whaaaaa?" And I heard him when he said it so I gave him one of these...

I didn't say anything to him, but I definitely gave him the side eye, like "Bitch you better watch what you're saying." I looked at one of my friends and was like, "Dude is really trying me right now." Nick begins to talk shit, calling me ugly... (Ok, you've seen this dude's pictures... Let's be for real here.)

I told him to look at me, and then get up and go look in the mirror... yep, I'd be mad too.

A few more words exchange and then it happens...

Me- (Sitting on the couch, drink in hand)

Cue inner dialogue:

My first reaction was...

But hell naw... I'm not in the business of wasting alcohol on someone who is "Less than"... plus, I would have had to clean it up afterward and ain't nobody got time for that.

Snapping back to reality, I just gave him one of these:

My friends thought that it was about to get REAL up in there, but I was NOT about to let myself get to this dude's level. But I do enjoy a good verbal beatdown.

Me: Look at your shoes... they have holes in them, and I'm the "Nigger"?... Okay, I'll be whatever you want me to be.
Nick: Well at least they're BROWN and not BLACK!

LMAO! Seriously?... Who is this guy and what era does he live in?

A drunk mind speaks a sober truth... 

People need to realize that just because you're drunk, you don't get a pass for the things you say. There is still some accountability that needs to be had. I'm willing to bet my left testicle and kidney that this isn't the first time Nick S, from Orange County has used racial slurs when referencing a person of color, and I'm sure it won't be the last. It's definitely a learned behavior and it's a shame that we live in a time where this shouldn't be an issue, but it is. When is enough, enough? When does one realize that excessive drinking in public and acting ignorant is no longer cute or acceptable? If at 26 you can't control it, what are you gonna do when you hit 30?

He's probably used to people ready to fight after those words are spoken, but I broke that pattern. I was in COMPLETE control of the situation when he said that. I had the choice to get up and whoop his ass, or sit there and laugh. I think sitting there and laughing does more harm than actual physical violence. Just because someone calls you something, doesn't make you that. And when you get in their face and swing, you give up any power you just had. I like power. :)

After a while, and a few "Nigger's" and "Faggot's" later... my friend and one of Nick's friends (Who's extremeley embarrassed at this point) get him out of the house and call an Uber to take him home. He's reluctant to leave but they eventually get him out.

After he left, I sat there but I was pretty pissed. Like, I really wanted to put hands on this dude... I handled the situation very well but I'm still tripping off of the nerve of this dude!... Clearly, he did not know who he was dealing with... I put people ON BLAST. I'm one of those people that if you do something to me, I have to do something back to you or I won't be able to sleep at night. Yes, it's a HUGE character flaw of mine, but that's me, and I'm working on that too. At least I can admit to being vindictive at times, but well within reason.

I am so sick of racist and bigoted people in this country. It's really sad that we all bleed the same, breathe the same air, and have the same organs, but the differences in our appearances and backgrounds allow us to spout out hateful words towards one another? I'm sorry Mr. Donald Sterling Jr., but I can't allow you to get away with this one...

So I got to thinking... This dude needs to learn a lesson... How can I gut punch that ass, without actually physically putting hands on him?...

So I take out my phone, look him up on facebook, and make this wonderful shameful collage and posted it on my facebook page to let people see the kinds of ignorant people that I deal with out here:

And this is his Instagram: (Currently locked for obvious reasons)


Let's start calling these racist, bigoted people out! If someone starts spouting racist, bigoted things towards you, snap their photo and MAKE THEM FAMOUS for their words or beliefs.

With that said, Nick if you are reading this blog, #sorryNOTsorry

You really deserved an ass whoopin, but I'll definitely settle for social networking shaming. You can apologize for your "drunken" ignorance all you want, but we all know that type of feeling and thought process lies deep within, but NEWSFLASH: WE AIN'T GOING NOWHERE!

It's time to be held accountable for your racist and bigoted actions...

I leave you with homage to "Kill Bill":

I'm sure this is embarrassing for you. You can take my word for it, you had it comin'. And if we ever cross paths again, (hopefully we don't) and if you still feel raw about it, I'll be waiting. 

Thanks for the blog material.


UPDATE: I took his full name out of my blog because I think the message was received on his end. When I posted thr blog, it got 600 hits day 1.

I heard people were calling, texting and harassing him. I have no idea how they got his number. I didn't know the hounds were gonna be unleashed! He even lost two job opportunities because of his words. 

Too bad he doesn't have a basketball team to sell.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Tasteless Jokes Are Delicious

Just got off of work and decided to come to Panera Bread to work on one of my side projects but there was no seating next to an outlet with my laptop... So I see this older guy,maybe about 60 something who was just on his tablet and not eating so I asked him if I could sit across from him... He first asked me if I was a serial killer and I assured him I wasn't.

As soon as I sat, he noticed my drawing tablet and asked if I was an artist... I told him sometimes.... His next question was "Do you like tasteless jokes?"... Now yall already know I was sold from that point on... I love me some tasteless jokes!!

This is the joke he told:

Man: What's worse than locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic?
Me: What?
Man: Walking inside and asking for a hangar.

He then takes another sip of his coffee and delivers a barrage of several more:

Man: What's red and white and sits in the corner?
Me: What?
Man: A baby playing with a razor blade.

I laugh a little awkwardly, but whatever ... 

Man: What's red, white, and blue and sits in the corner?
Me: What?
Man: Same baby, one week later

Ok that was a little inappropriate (I love inappropriate)... amusing, but I've definitely heard far worse... He continues...

Man: Did you hear about the gay midget?
Me: No.
Man: He came out of the cupboard.

Now that's just mean, I told him, as I gave him a courtesy laugh. 

Man: What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs? 
Me: What?
Man: One is a GOOD YEAR, the other is a GREAT YEAR!

Ok, now that was pretty funny... He told me a few others but they weren't really worth repeating... 

He then starts telling me how about the time he first got high was with Willie Nelson. He said he was on a bus and everyone who got cited for possession was over the age of 65! He definitely had a young spirit and older people like that, I absolutely adore because it gives me hope. 

All of a sudden, this scraggly chick walks in whom looks like she just took like 42 hits of acid followed by a heroin smoothie. He asks me:

Man: Would you hit that?
Me: With a baseball bat maybe!

We both laugh.

Los Angeles is a very interesting place with such an array of characters. I hope I'm as cool as this old guy when I get his age if I'm that lucky..

As he took his last sip of coffee, he left me with this, 

Man: Keep a young spirit! It helps the aging process that much better. My sex drive is through the charts!
Me: (Laughing) Copy that!



"Calvin Got A Job!"

You remember that old McDonald's commercial where this young man got a promotion and he's all proud and everyone's all like, CALVIN GOT A JOB! YAY CALVIN! ... 

Although I didn't get a promotion, and I'm definitely not working in fast food (not that there's anything wrong with that), I can definitely relate to Calvin and his excitement for his new career opportunity. I've been in the reality casting industry for a few years now and the opportunities keep getting better and better. Casting is a tough field because not only do you need to be good at what you do, the majority of the industry is personality driven... so it's very necessary to play nice... although sometimes, that doesn't happen. Most of the work you get is from friends and recommendations so if you're an asshole or really shitty at your job, chances are, you'll be flipping burgers while Calvin tells you to ease up on that special sauce.

What really pisses me off about the industry is the fact that Casting almost ALWAYS gets the shit end of the deal... Most of the time, you get a crappy budget (depending on the project) and are expected to make miracles happen under a tight deadline. Then after that, you barely get credit for your efforts.

It's really not as glamorous as people would think. Why do I do it you ask?... Why do people eat Apple Jacks?... Because they like them, DUH!....

The downfalls are when you're not working on a show, you're working to find work... Sending emails, trolling job sites, etc. There's no benefits and sometimes the pay isn't all that great... FREELANCE SUCKS BUT I LOVE CASTING! What sucks is that it's a constant hustle and the hours can be very long at times. I'm sorry, what are benefits? What's overtime?... Yeah right.

And the crazy part about the entertainment industry is that they can get away with paying pennies for certain jobs because they know there is someone just as thirsty that would love to have your job in 5 minutes if you turned it down.  Sometimes, it's not about the pay... I've taken some pretty shitty gigs but the credit on my resume outshines the pay, and the people that you meet can definitely lead to other things if you play your cards right.

The upside is that you get to work with some amazing people (most of the time), and you can possibly impact someone's life for the better. I was inspired to get into casting after my time on "Big Brother", "Are you smarter than a 5th Grader", which clearly I wasn't... I could have really won some heavy money had they not changed to that bullshit format where they forced you to answer all of the questions... And "Let's Make a Deal". I figured that I had the energy that was consistent with people on TV and it shouldn't be that difficult to find people who are just as energetic as myself.

Anyway, It's a pretty rewarding career field when you get the right opportunity. I've worked on some pretty cool shows and met some pretty cool talent.

A few months ago, I was just on the verge of giving up and finding something else to do til I got this new opportunity.

This opportunity that I have now is in the realm of Development, which means that I am able to help create new shows from the ground floor by finding amazing characters based on pitched ideas. I can even pitch show ideas myself which is pretty cool... I feel like this gig is the most important gig I've had thus far in the industry and I am definitely up for the challenge. I AM SOFA KING EXCITED! Like, for real, for real... I can't even deal...

I really don't feel like a "cog" like I normally do on these shows. The production company I'm working for seems like they truly want their people to succeed and they like to promote from within. I'm talking super legit shit here... When I was told we get 2 FREE weeks off over Christmas and New Year's, I about fell out... This never happens to me... I've had some awesome opportunities and experiences... but nothing like this. I actually feel like a legit professional.

So wish me luck as I pursue this new venture because I think it's gonna be an interesting one. I'm hoping one day, I can be like Calvin in that McDonald's commercial and call my mamma up and be like "I'M ON THE MANAGEMENT TEAM NOW MAMMA!"... but I definitely won't be smelling like french fries that's for sure.

Speaking of french fries, I leave you with Dave Chappelle's version of "Calvin Got a Job".

Sky's The Limit!

Saturday, May 3, 2014

My "Stupid Name"

I got to thinking today... I really miss blogging... I remember during my Myspace days, I used to really be on top of it... not so much these days... So I guess this is my attempt to give it another crack... However, life, and shit happens so don't hold me to this...

Anyway, last night, I went out with a few friends to see EnVogue in concert, of course Dawn's punk ass was nowhere to be found, but the 3 ladies still gave an outstanding performance and rocked the house! They look pretty damn good for whatever age they are now... When I was younger, I remember listening to their single, "Hold On", and watching that video where the dancers were dancing hella fast... which still made no sense to me... After working in entertainment now, I think whomever came up with that video concept should be slapped... It really makes no sense at all...  You have four beautiful ladies dancing and singing about "Hold on to your love"... then you have these male dancers whom appeared to have done about 14 lines of the purest Colombian powder they could find, dancing all hard... I mean come on... but those were the 90's... From the crazy hairstyles and clothes...  A lot of stuff didn't make sense... but it was clearly the best decade, music wise...

After the show, myself along with a few friends began to make our way outside to mingle with a few people whom were invited to the show by one of my best friend's girlfriend... As the name introductions began, I introduced myself with a polite smile to the people standing in the circle until I come across this dude (one of my friend's girlfriend's friend's friend... if that makes sense) who was clearly not in the same hemisphere as myself...

Here's how our exchange went:

Me: Hi, I'm Parker
Dude: Marker?
Me: What parent would name their child "Marker"? Let's be for real here...
Dude: Well, I dunno... Parker sounds kind of stupid...


YESSSS!!! This MF had the NERVE to tell me TO MY FACE that my GREAT GRANDFATHER'S NAME was indeed STUPID...

Ok, so anyone who knows me well, knows that I don't subscribe to bullshit... And the younger version of myself would have instantly popped off... no question, do not pass go, do not collect 200... It would have been a wrap.

At first, I thought he was just playing... but when I didn't hear a drum symbol, or punchline or even a damn LOL from a live studio audience, I knew this dude was serious-

Me: Are you serious right now?
Dude: Well, if you think about it... there's Parker Brothers, Parking Cars...
Me: I'm sorry, what's your name again?
Dude: Mark.
Me: Oh, haven't heard THAT ONE before... Mark is a stupid, common name... At least my name is unique... And I guarantee you, if you and I were to both walk into a room full of strangers, I promise you, PARKER will be the name they remember. 
Mark: You don't have to get all worked up...
Me: You need to watch your tone and know who you're dealing with before something happens that won't be in your best interest...

By this time, I could really feel my blood pressure beginning to rise. I've been pretty good with keeping my temper in check these days, but MF's always wanna try it... As I proceeded to prepare myself to assassinate this 50+ something dude verbally, my dear friend, Frank taps me on the shoulder and jokingly tells me that my car has arrived as this Bentley pulls up. I immediately directed my attention away from Mark and began to tell Frank what just happened.

Frank saved this man's ass from getting his feelings truly hurt... I've squashed larger bugs for less... Furthermore, Frank saved me from losing my cool... and I thank him for that. It's really hard to keep your cool in a world full of people whom test your patience. I know I did the right thing by walking away because I know what I'm capable of... 

What pisses me off is that I don't go looking for drama. But when it's brought to me, I will shut that shit down. And when I start, it's hard for me to let go... I'm getting better at letting go... but damn...  I RARELY ever start anything, but for some reason, I guess there's a sign on my forehead that says, "TRY ME PLEASE!" WTF is up with that? What is it about my look, that invites people to push my buttons? And then when I do pop off, they're looking at me like I'm the bad guy... 

I know my name isn't stupid... actually, my name is pretty freakin awesome. I'm always the first person people remember in a group of strangers and I get great parking karma... No seriously... I ALWAYS find parking... 

As I continue to evolve, I know I will constantly be tested in my personal life, as well as my professional life. And it's up to me to deal with it accordingly in a way that makes me look like the one with class... I've come a long way... Mark is definitely lucky that he ran into 33 year old Parker, and not 23 year old Parker because if that were the case, he would have definitely received 5 across the eyes without a doubt.

Here's to growing up!! 

But don't get it twisted... 



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