Saturday, May 3, 2014

My "Stupid Name"

I got to thinking today... I really miss blogging... I remember during my Myspace days, I used to really be on top of it... not so much these days... So I guess this is my attempt to give it another crack... However, life, and shit happens so don't hold me to this...

Anyway, last night, I went out with a few friends to see EnVogue in concert, of course Dawn's punk ass was nowhere to be found, but the 3 ladies still gave an outstanding performance and rocked the house! They look pretty damn good for whatever age they are now... When I was younger, I remember listening to their single, "Hold On", and watching that video where the dancers were dancing hella fast... which still made no sense to me... After working in entertainment now, I think whomever came up with that video concept should be slapped... It really makes no sense at all...  You have four beautiful ladies dancing and singing about "Hold on to your love"... then you have these male dancers whom appeared to have done about 14 lines of the purest Colombian powder they could find, dancing all hard... I mean come on... but those were the 90's... From the crazy hairstyles and clothes...  A lot of stuff didn't make sense... but it was clearly the best decade, music wise...

After the show, myself along with a few friends began to make our way outside to mingle with a few people whom were invited to the show by one of my best friend's girlfriend... As the name introductions began, I introduced myself with a polite smile to the people standing in the circle until I come across this dude (one of my friend's girlfriend's friend's friend... if that makes sense) who was clearly not in the same hemisphere as myself...

Here's how our exchange went:

Me: Hi, I'm Parker
Dude: Marker?
Me: What parent would name their child "Marker"? Let's be for real here...
Dude: Well, I dunno... Parker sounds kind of stupid...

*RECORD SCRATCH PAUSE*


YESSSS!!! This MF had the NERVE to tell me TO MY FACE that my GREAT GRANDFATHER'S NAME was indeed STUPID...

Ok, so anyone who knows me well, knows that I don't subscribe to bullshit... And the younger version of myself would have instantly popped off... no question, do not pass go, do not collect 200... It would have been a wrap.

At first, I thought he was just playing... but when I didn't hear a drum symbol, or punchline or even a damn LOL from a live studio audience, I knew this dude was serious-


Me: Are you serious right now?
Dude: Well, if you think about it... there's Parker Brothers, Parking Cars...
Me: I'm sorry, what's your name again?
Dude: Mark.
Me: Oh, haven't heard THAT ONE before... Mark is a stupid, common name... At least my name is unique... And I guarantee you, if you and I were to both walk into a room full of strangers, I promise you, PARKER will be the name they remember. 
Mark: You don't have to get all worked up...
Me: You need to watch your tone and know who you're dealing with before something happens that won't be in your best interest...

By this time, I could really feel my blood pressure beginning to rise. I've been pretty good with keeping my temper in check these days, but MF's always wanna try it... As I proceeded to prepare myself to assassinate this 50+ something dude verbally, my dear friend, Frank taps me on the shoulder and jokingly tells me that my car has arrived as this Bentley pulls up. I immediately directed my attention away from Mark and began to tell Frank what just happened.

Frank saved this man's ass from getting his feelings truly hurt... I've squashed larger bugs for less... Furthermore, Frank saved me from losing my cool... and I thank him for that. It's really hard to keep your cool in a world full of people whom test your patience. I know I did the right thing by walking away because I know what I'm capable of... 

What pisses me off is that I don't go looking for drama. But when it's brought to me, I will shut that shit down. And when I start, it's hard for me to let go... I'm getting better at letting go... but damn...  I RARELY ever start anything, but for some reason, I guess there's a sign on my forehead that says, "TRY ME PLEASE!" WTF is up with that? What is it about my look, that invites people to push my buttons? And then when I do pop off, they're looking at me like I'm the bad guy... 

I know my name isn't stupid... actually, my name is pretty freakin awesome. I'm always the first person people remember in a group of strangers and I get great parking karma... No seriously... I ALWAYS find parking... 

As I continue to evolve, I know I will constantly be tested in my personal life, as well as my professional life. And it's up to me to deal with it accordingly in a way that makes me look like the one with class... I've come a long way... Mark is definitely lucky that he ran into 33 year old Parker, and not 23 year old Parker because if that were the case, he would have definitely received 5 across the eyes without a doubt.

Here's to growing up!! 

But don't get it twisted... 

#DontStartNoneWontBeNone

pd

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2 comments:

  1. I WAS going to just leave a smiley face to get you all worked up, but decided that you may come find me one day in Illinois land. I may have laughed out loud as I read your post. And I am glad you didn't give the man the verbal beat down he deserved.

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  2. I was about to "pop off" on that "jackass"(being as kind as I can be)...I truly am very blessed to be apart of your life...<3 ya & thank u for not bringing out the "23 yr old Parker...it takes a BIGGER MAN TO HANDLE THINGS the way you do...#SOVERYPROUDTOCALLUSON

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