Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Tasteless Jokes Are Delicious

Just got off of work and decided to come to Panera Bread to work on one of my side projects but there was no seating next to an outlet with my laptop... So I see this older guy,maybe about 60 something who was just on his tablet and not eating so I asked him if I could sit across from him... He first asked me if I was a serial killer and I assured him I wasn't.

As soon as I sat, he noticed my drawing tablet and asked if I was an artist... I told him sometimes.... His next question was "Do you like tasteless jokes?"... Now yall already know I was sold from that point on... I love me some tasteless jokes!!

This is the joke he told:

Man: What's worse than locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic?
Me: What?
Man: Walking inside and asking for a hangar.

He then takes another sip of his coffee and delivers a barrage of several more:

Man: What's red and white and sits in the corner?
Me: What?
Man: A baby playing with a razor blade.

I laugh a little awkwardly, but whatever ... 

Man: What's red, white, and blue and sits in the corner?
Me: What?
Man: Same baby, one week later

Ok that was a little inappropriate (I love inappropriate)... amusing, but I've definitely heard far worse... He continues...

Man: Did you hear about the gay midget?
Me: No.
Man: He came out of the cupboard.

Now that's just mean, I told him, as I gave him a courtesy laugh. 

Man: What's the difference between a blimp and 365 blow jobs? 
Me: What?
Man: One is a GOOD YEAR, the other is a GREAT YEAR!

Ok, now that was pretty funny... He told me a few others but they weren't really worth repeating... 

He then starts telling me how about the time he first got high was with Willie Nelson. He said he was on a bus and everyone who got cited for possession was over the age of 65! He definitely had a young spirit and older people like that, I absolutely adore because it gives me hope. 

All of a sudden, this scraggly chick walks in whom looks like she just took like 42 hits of acid followed by a heroin smoothie. He asks me:

Man: Would you hit that?
Me: With a baseball bat maybe!

We both laugh.

Los Angeles is a very interesting place with such an array of characters. I hope I'm as cool as this old guy when I get his age if I'm that lucky..

As he took his last sip of coffee, he left me with this, 

Man: Keep a young spirit! It helps the aging process that much better. My sex drive is through the charts!
Me: (Laughing) Copy that!



1 comment:

  1. Ladt joke was to die for. Here's to another great year, lol.