How to handle being called "Nigger" in 2014

So I this guy named Nick S. (Yes, that's a direct link to his facebook... feel free to say hello. UPDATE: It's "off the grid now for obvious reasons") called me a "Nigger" yesterday...

Yep, it's 2014 and that's still happening... Don't act shocked, appalled, or flabbergasted... In the words of Olivia Pope:





Clearly I know I'm not a "Nigger" so I just laughed it off because I was not about to stoop to that level of violence, and furthermore, disrespect myself or my buddy's house.

I remember a time when that word would set me off, and I'd be the first to jump in someones face... but come on dude...I think it's time for a new word. I'm 33 years old and I don't subscribe to this kind of nonsense. But don't think for one second that you're getting away with it, as you have no idea the kind of person I am. I may not put hands on you, but there's an old saying, "The pen is mightier than the sword". So I decided the best course of action is to use social networking as my weapon of choice.

Here's how it went down:

I met this dude like 3 weeks ago, and he was drunk then and rubbed me the wrong way so I just ignored him and went on about my way.

Fast Forward to yesterday:

Myself, along with one of my best friends, and his girlfriend arrive to our other best friend's house in Redondo Beach, for a barbecue. It was supposed to start at 12 noon, but we got there around 3 because we knew better... Shit wasn't gonna be done...lol.

 Anyway, we get there and they had already been drinking. There were some new faces there, but this other face... the face of a drunkard, whom I had already met before was in some way, looking for trouble. I shake the other people's hands, and I even shake his and told him that we have met before...

Nick was already having a hard time forming complete sentences... And it was actually kind of sad. 26 years old and still yet to have control with your alcohol. It's kind of embarrassing if you ask me...

I can't even begin to recall some of the things he was saying to me because none of it was making an ounce of sense. You know how drunk people get... so I just gave him a weird look and asked him to stop talking to me so I can enjoy my plate...

So eventually, my buddy's girlfriend comes outside and she's wearing something that shows that it's kind of chilly outside if you know what I mean. Nick decides he wants to comment and say, "Nipples".

I look at him and say "Don't be disrespectful." He looks at me very hard like he wants to do something and I say, "You're looking at me like you want to do something. If you feel the need, you are more than welcome."

Let the stare down begin...



Nick replies, "I'm thinking"

I reply, "Think long and hard about your next move..."

This is one of the main reasons why I don't drink excessively in public because you really look like an idiot if you can't keep it under control.

The starring continues. By this time, I can feel that feeling you get when you know it's possibly gonna go down. You know that anxious feeling you get just before you go over the edge of a roller coaster?... Yes, it was starting even though I sat there calm, I could still feel it building....

So my buddy's girlfriend comes back outside and says that they need me in the kitchen. I get up and go. Thank you Jesus! Saved once again! I've really been working on my issues with quickly reacting by going from 0-10 and it's definitely paying off. I get to the kitchen an my friend asked me what happened outside and I told him what he said about his girlfriend and that pissed him off. He motioned to go outside, but I stopped him and told him that I had already taken care of it... No need to escalate the situation. Ok cool..

Fast forward to everyone moving inside:

We're about to bust out some Wii bowling (You know how I love me some Wii bowling) but Nick continues to kill the vibe.

I was talking to one of my friends and said something funny, and Nick decides he wants to mumble under his breath, "Nigga say whaaaaa?" And I heard him when he said it so I gave him one of these...



I didn't say anything to him, but I definitely gave him the side eye, like "Bitch you better watch what you're saying." I looked at one of my friends and was like, "Dude is really trying me right now." Nick begins to talk shit, calling me ugly... (Ok, you've seen this dude's pictures... Let's be for real here.)

I told him to look at me, and then get up and go look in the mirror... yep, I'd be mad too.

A few more words exchange and then it happens...

Nick: NIGGER!
Me- (Sitting on the couch, drink in hand)

Cue inner dialogue:

My first reaction was...



But hell naw... I'm not in the business of wasting alcohol on someone who is "Less than"... plus, I would have had to clean it up afterward and ain't nobody got time for that.

Snapping back to reality, I just gave him one of these:




My friends thought that it was about to get REAL up in there, but I was NOT about to let myself get to this dude's level. But I do enjoy a good verbal beatdown.

Me: Look at your shoes... they have holes in them, and I'm the "Nigger"?... Okay, I'll be whatever you want me to be.
Nick: Well at least they're BROWN and not BLACK!

LMAO! Seriously?... Who is this guy and what era does he live in?

A drunk mind speaks a sober truth... 

People need to realize that just because you're drunk, you don't get a pass for the things you say. There is still some accountability that needs to be had. I'm willing to bet my left testicle and kidney that this isn't the first time Nick S, from Orange County has used racial slurs when referencing a person of color, and I'm sure it won't be the last. It's definitely a learned behavior and it's a shame that we live in a time where this shouldn't be an issue, but it is. When is enough, enough? When does one realize that excessive drinking in public and acting ignorant is no longer cute or acceptable? If at 26 you can't control it, what are you gonna do when you hit 30?

He's probably used to people ready to fight after those words are spoken, but I broke that pattern. I was in COMPLETE control of the situation when he said that. I had the choice to get up and whoop his ass, or sit there and laugh. I think sitting there and laughing does more harm than actual physical violence. Just because someone calls you something, doesn't make you that. And when you get in their face and swing, you give up any power you just had. I like power. :)

After a while, and a few "Nigger's" and "Faggot's" later... my friend and one of Nick's friends (Who's extremeley embarrassed at this point) get him out of the house and call an Uber to take him home. He's reluctant to leave but they eventually get him out.

After he left, I sat there but I was pretty pissed. Like, I really wanted to put hands on this dude... I handled the situation very well but I'm still tripping off of the nerve of this dude!... Clearly, he did not know who he was dealing with... I put people ON BLAST. I'm one of those people that if you do something to me, I have to do something back to you or I won't be able to sleep at night. Yes, it's a HUGE character flaw of mine, but that's me, and I'm working on that too. At least I can admit to being vindictive at times, but well within reason.

I am so sick of racist and bigoted people in this country. It's really sad that we all bleed the same, breathe the same air, and have the same organs, but the differences in our appearances and backgrounds allow us to spout out hateful words towards one another? I'm sorry Mr. Donald Sterling Jr., but I can't allow you to get away with this one...

So I got to thinking... This dude needs to learn a lesson... How can I gut punch that ass, without actually physically putting hands on him?...

So I take out my phone, look him up on facebook, and make this wonderful shameful collage and posted it on my facebook page to let people see the kinds of ignorant people that I deal with out here:


And this is his Instagram:

http://instagram.com/nick1174 (Currently locked for obvious reasons)

#POW

Let's start calling these racist, bigoted people out! If someone starts spouting racist, bigoted things towards you, snap their photo and MAKE THEM FAMOUS for their words or beliefs.

With that said, Nick if you are reading this blog, #sorryNOTsorry

You really deserved an ass whoopin, but I'll definitely settle for social networking shaming. You can apologize for your "drunken" ignorance all you want, but we all know that type of feeling and thought process lies deep within, but NEWSFLASH: WE AIN'T GOING NOWHERE!

It's time to be held accountable for your racist and bigoted actions...

I leave you with homage to "Kill Bill":

I'm sure this is embarrassing for you. You can take my word for it, you had it comin'. And if we ever cross paths again, (hopefully we don't) and if you still feel raw about it, I'll be waiting. 



Thanks for the blog material.

#checkmate


UPDATE: I took his full name out of my blog because I think the message was received on his end. When I posted thr blog, it got 600 hits day 1.

I heard people were calling, texting and harassing him. I have no idea how they got his number. I didn't know the hounds were gonna be unleashed! He even lost two job opportunities because of his words. 

Too bad he doesn't have a basketball team to sell.